My name is Marion. I am 43 years old. My husband’s name is Mike. My kids are Reese (9) and Oliver (11). Their Dad’s name is Brad. I have had a really interesting life that has taken taken lot’s of unexpected twists and turns. I love people and I love helping people find their healthiest and happiest versions of themselves. At times, I struggle with finding the healthiest and happiest version of myself. I thought writing about my life, my personal struggles and accomplishments might not only be cathartic for me but helpful and inspiring for others.
While I make my living as a Wellness Motivator, I find there is one client who I tend to set aside from time to time. That client is ME. I hope you will join me on this journey as I write about “Being My Own Client”. Your feedback, thoughts and comments are everything to me…so let’s get this conversation started!!!
Being My Own Client
Creating Our Own Stories
I have started running outdoors.
A friend recently asked why I started running. In that moment I realized I started running because I was tired of saying “I don’t run” or better yet, “I can’t run”.
I have always admired runners. All runners need to do is throw on a pair of sneakers and bam..good to go. No inner tubes to deal with, traffic isn’t a huge concern and you can pretty much run anywhere.
I have never found joy in dealing with this!!!
Each time I see a runner, I imagine they have been out running for at least an hour and are getting in a good 15 mile run. They always seem to be keeping perfect stride. Inevitably they have a beautiful french braid, their sweat is glistening and they smile and wave as I pass by.
I mean look at these fantastic “run braids”!!!!
Okay not really, but that is the story playing out in my imagination. This narrative that I have formed in my mind has totally prevented me from trying to run outside. I mean I can’t do a french braid (I have to learn though because according to her camp photos my daughter loves a french braid), my sweat doesn’t glisten it pours out of me and though I try to smile while I work out, I certainly could not imagine enjoying running.
Cycling has always come easily to me, not to say I haven’t had difficult rides. There have been plenty of those. But from the first time I hopped on a bike to the present day, I never think twice. Just jump on and go. I rarely even know where I am going, I just go.
Running indoors is awesome training and thanks to Barry’s Bootcamp I have really grown to love a treadmill. I am by no means the fastest runner in the room but I am okay with it. I am drenched in sweat and panting. My happy place.
My happy place!!! (one of them 🙂
My husband runs outdoors and he is always trying to get me to join him. “Sorry honey, I can’t run. I have never been able to and I never will”.
This is coming from the queen of motivators. Ironically, my husband runs outdoors largely in part because I pushed him to!!! I live to help people discover their fullest potential. That is what I do. I inspire people to be healthy, discover their strongest sense of self and thrive. Yet when it came to this one area of my own life, I had become quite the coward.
So I found myself in that familiar place again. “If I were my own client, what would I tell me to do?”
First, I would have my client share the story she tells herself whenever she sees a runner and I would perhaps retell the story. I would remind my client that though the runner in her story may exist, there are thousands of different types of runners. I would also remind my client of this:
As far as she knows, the runner’s braid may have fallen out a minute later, the runner has only been running for a couple of minutes and what looks like glistening sweat may very well be moisturizer or sunblock.
The point being of course, create your own story and stop imagining other people’s stories.
So as my own client, I started to look at runners through a neutral lens and realized they do not all have french braids, glistening sweat and smiles on their faces. I started to see all different paces, outfits, expressions, amounts of sweat and, most importantly, hair dos. (Apparently my lack of french braid skills is real issue for me lol)
After so many years of admiring runners, I finally did it. I threw on a pair of sneakers (Stella Mccartney for Adidas…this drives my husband crazy as he claims they are not proper running shoes BUT THEY ARE VEGAN!!!) and just got to it.
I LOVE my sneakers!!!
It was tough to start. I realized immediately, within seconds, I have avoided running because I am super hard on myself.
I started running and all I could think about was how slowly I was going, how uncomfortable the act of running feels to me, how my hair was going to fall out of the ponytail at any moment…
But then suddenly I noticed something.
I was running. No matter what voices in my head were trying to shatter the moment, I was still doing it. I was still running.
At this point I turned down my soundtrack and listened to my breathing. I had a solid rhythm of inhales and exhales. I yearn for this sound while I am exercising. Many of us call this our ‘ZONE’. I had shockingly landed in my running ZONE. I couldn’t believe it. I was twenty minutes into this first run and I was actually enjoying it. I was smiling. I waved at someone. Nothing was hurting. My ponytail fell out and it didn’t matter.
As some of you may have noticed, I have made it a habit to post a ‘selfie’ each time I run. I am doing this for a specific reason, a reason outside of what may seem like pure narcissism or exhibitionism. Through my posts, I hope to influence at least one or two people to get off their asses, out of their heads and into some form of exercise. I will post no matter the mood, no matter a good or bad run. I will not always be smiling and I certainly will not always look “pretty”.
Not a happy moment. LOL
Too much time and energy is spent on everyone trying to look or feel like what they think everyone else is looking or feeling like. Social media can be confusing in this regard. It is a fantastic tool for motivating people but can also be a fantastic tool for intimidating and scaring people out of doing things. I hope to ride that fine line very carefully and only want to deliver one message to people: we are all in this together.
I feel I must also share one last note. I haven’t written for this blog in quite some time. There are a bunch of self inflicted reasons that I have not been writing lately. Interestingly enough, challenging myself to get out there and run has pushed me to get past my mental block(s). I am in the process of rebuilding my website, perfecting my programs and rebranding my business. This blog and the community around it are a huge part of my vision. Thank you for reading and being involved. Have a voice, comment here or on my site. In times like these we all must speak from our hearts. (That’s a little segue into my next entry…. 🙂
Drink a green juice
PS..for those of you following my running journey, yesterday was rough. I used the NIKE FIT APP and it kept reminding me of my pace…I texted my husband some pissy text about how I hated the NIKE lady and she was ruining my new found passion and I was going to walk home. He simply wrote back “Marion is not a quitter. Keep running”.
I leave you with this so you can look at your own life. Is there anyone who can motivate to keep going? Full circle. xox